His Butler, Forbidden
by RavenKitsune13
Summary: After everything that has happened between Alois and Claude, Ciel and Sebastian decide to leave everything behind. Faking their deaths and moving to another estate isolated from society they have to start learning to be around each other. Ciel is confused of how to treat his butler and what he feels for him. Will they kill each other before Ciel realizes his true feelings?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It has been three weeks since the incident with Alois and Claude. Three weeks since I became a demon and I fucking hate it. I had accepted from the moment I made the contract with Sebastian that I was going to die. I hate the fact that the choice was taken from me but what I hate the most is how much more hostile Sebastian has become towards me. The tension between us is so heavy that if I could I would vomit. I know that he completely lost his chance to devour my soul and if I could I would willing give it to him. Now we have to accept the fact that it will never happen and that Sebastian will never be free from the contract that binds us together.

Oh how life really likes to brutally fuck us over.

I sigh and stare towards the direction Sebastian is in. Watching him load our things into the carriage for when we depart for good from the Phantomhive mansion. Away from the home where everything fell apart. From where Sebastian and I have been living for the last three years. Away from Tanaka, Bard, Mey-rin and Finney. Away from Elizabeth. I don't feel bad for a second leaving them behind. It's too dangerous for us to stay anywhere near them with us being demons. It's also dangerous for the fact that after awhile people will notice that I won't age anymore.

I was so deep in thought that even though I have been staring at Sebastian I didn't realize that he walked up to me until just now. I look up at him trying to read him but I can't. His face is completely blank so I can't tell what he is thinking. After a minute I look away unable to look at him anymore. I know he hates me and usually I would be fine with that because I thought I hated him too but I don't. Every time he looks at me with hatred and disgust does something to me. It hurts knowing how he feels about me and I don't know why. I never had any care in the world for him so why am I suddenly feeling something now? Why do I care?

"Young Master."

I look back up at him with an eyebrow raised. "What?"

Again he shows no emotion. "The carriage is ready. I suggest we start heading out before it gets too dark."

Why does he care about it getting too dark? I nod at him and start making my way towards the carriage. Thankfully I sent the servants to run some errands so we could leave without the hassle of saying goodbye and them trying to convince us to stay.

Sebastian holds out his hand to help me into the carriage but I refuse to take it and get in settling on one of the seats. He glares at me and closes the door kind of hard almost breaking it. I just sigh and look out the window watching as we begin to move away from the manor. Watching as it gets smaller and smaller until it completely disappears from sight. I close my eyes and begin to remember all that has happened these last few years. The one thing that was painful to remember was when Madam Red was killed. I will never admit it out loud but I still cared for her deeply. She was my aunt and I did care about her a great deal even after everything that has happened. After my parents died and even after she tried to kill me even though she couldn't do it with me being her beloved sister's child.

After awhile the carriage came to a halt. Knowing what was happening without even asking I took out my knife and cut open my hand letting the blood drip down onto the seat I was sitting on. I continue to let it spill as I made my way out of the carriage and into the snow. Sebastian cut open the leg of one of our horses to show it got injured on our 'trip' thus resulting in our stop and us being attacked by wild animals. I must say faking our deaths is a complete pain in the ass.

I look towards Sebastian to see that he is finished with his part and is walking over to retrieve some of our belongings. I grab a couple of the bags that he was holding and grabs a couple of the suitcases. He begins to reach towards the bags I was holding intending on carrying them and I immediately step out of his reach shaking my head.

"It's fine. I've got these."

He looks at me raising his eyebrow. Usually I wouldn't bother helping and let him do it all but that wasn't the case this time. I just shrug my shoulders and begin walking away from the scene with him trailing behind me. We walk in silence for what seems like hours until we come up to another one of my estates. This is the only one I never told anyone about in case I wanted to be alone completely undisturbed. It was completely isolated and extremely far away from every thing. No one would ever find us here. It was literally in the middle of the forest hundreds of miles away from the town and the main estate.

We walk up the steps and through the doors. We look around and realize how much the place needed to be cleaned. The whole place was completely covered in dust and there were cobwebs everywhere. The floors needed to be swept, mopped and polished. The railings also needed to be polished and I can't even imagine what all the bedding and curtains look like in the bedrooms. I hear Sebastian sigh as he walks up beside me.

"I'll clean everything up and then when I'm done I'll start preparing for dinner." He looks in my direction that blank look taking over his features once again.

"Don't bother with dinner. I'm too tired and not even that hungry. I'm going to head upstairs and start taking down the curtains and removing the bedding from all the rooms," I say as I look back up at him. Seeing the surprised look on his face was actually pretty amusing. I smile and begin making my way up the stairs towards the rooms. What makes this moment even more enjoyable is the fact that I know his eyes widen even more that they might just pop out of their sockets. I know he is wondering why I am suddenly helping with everything knowing that he has always been the one taking care of me. Doing the laundry, cleaning, preparing the food, changing my clothes, washing me when I take my baths and all the other things. The answer is simple.

I feel guilty.

Guilty for the fact that he is bound to me for all eternity. Guilty for the fact that he will never be able to consume my soul. Guilty for how I have treated him all these years. Nothing but plain old fashion guilt. For the longest time I always thought demons didn't feel emotions. That they were completely heartless and had no since of guilt or remorse. But now that I am one I am willing to admit that I was completely wrong. So I want to start making it up to him. Starting by helping him clean this godforsaken place.

I'm hoping the tension between us will start to die down and we can live without me relying on him all the time. Because whether I like it or not I'm a demon now. I will never age. I will never die unless it's by a weapon specifically made to kill demons. And I refuse to rely on him anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After what seemed like hours I was finally able to retrieve all of the bedding and curtains from all of the rooms. I walk back down stairs with the last set in my arms and make my way to where it is all supposed to be washed. I drop it in the pile with all the rest of the horrible fabric and make my way to the dining room. I can tell Sebastian has already been through here by how spotless it is. I smile finally admiring all of his hard work in just this room alone. Back at the main estate I never really took the time to actually look. I was always acting like a spoiled brat complaining about every single thing. The guilt I had been feeling since we left began to grow. I sigh and begin making my way out to the garden behind the estate to get some fresh air. Hopefully that will help clear my head a little.

When I get to the glass doors I notice Sebastian sitting on the ground in front of the roses playing with a cat. He must have sneaked it here in one of the suitcases he was carrying. I lean against the door and just watch him. That genuine smile that he makes as he plays with the cat makes my chest feel constricted. The whole time I have known him he has rarely made that smile towards anyone. Including me.

I look towards the ground, my hair covering my eyes and bite my lip. Why does this all bother me so much? Why does his hostility towards me hurt so much? Why do I feel so damn jealous of a damn cat who is receiving all of Sebastian's attention?

"My lord are you alright?"

I flinch not realizing that Sebastian was right in front of me. What surprised me more though was the tears streaming down my face. Why am I crying? When did I start crying and why am I not hiding it from him? Why did this all have to happen? If things would have gone according to plan then none of this would be happening. I wouldn't be feeling all of this pain. I'm so fucking confused!

"Young Master," he calls for me. The moment I feel his hand on my shoulder I flinch away.

After a minute or so I turn around and ran. Ran out the front doors and towards the never ending forest. I can hear Sebastian calling me and chasing after me but I don't stop. I continue to run as fast as I could. Running as far from the estate as I could. I don't want to feel any of this. The guilt. The pain. The jealousy over a stupid fucking cat. I never felt any of this before and I don't want to start feeling it now.

I stopped running when I came up to a lake. I don't even know how far I had ran and at the moment I don't care. I walk closer to the edge of the lake and sit. I just stare out at it and let my mind wander. It immediately goes to Sebastian. What exactly am I feeling? Why are the things I never gave a damn about before suddenly effecting me? Why was I crying back there?

"Ciel?" Startled I whirl around to see who it could be when I should already know. There was no one else out this far besides us. What surprises me though is the first emotion I have seen in awhile that isn't hatred or disgust. Concern. I don't even care that he called me by my name.

I look away from him and say nothing. He sits next to me and I can still feel him staring at me. After a minute he sighs and looks out towards the lake like I was a minute ago. I took that moment to look up and at him. But what I notice about him begins to scare me. With the sun setting his features stand out more. From his raven hair, to his crimson eyes, to his toned body. Everything about him at this moment feels different. I can't believe I am actually thinking this but he looks beautiful.

I lower my head, letting my hair cover my eyes and stare at the ground. What I'm feeling towards this demon, I don't know whether to be afraid of them or not and it's not like can ask someone for advice. Doing that would require me going back to everyone when I'm supposed to be dead. So not dealing with all that.

I lift my head and look back out at the lake. "Why?"

From the corner of my eye I can see Sebastian glance towards me. He probably expected me to stay quiet until I was ready to go.

"Young Master?"

"Why do you hate me so much? It's not like it's my fault I'm like this now. It's not like I wanted to become a demon in the first place. I was damn well prepared to give up my soul like the contract states. So why do you hate me over something that was out of my control?" I look towards him hoping he would answer me. He stared back at me for awhile and I was starting to think he wasn't going to.

He sighed and looked back out at the lake. "I don't hate you. Am I angry because something I have been working hard to obtain for the last few years was easily taken from me? Yes. Am I angry that I am completely bound to you forever?For awhile I was. I don't hate you for what happened because I know it's not your fault." He looks back at me with a smile. "Is this why you were crying earlier, _Ciel_?"

My eyes grow wide and a blush forms on my face. I quickly look away so he can't see. The way he said my name felt weird. Good but weird. "I don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about!" I hear him chuckle but I don't face him. What the hell is wrong with me?

I look over at him and see him beginning to stand. He holds is hand out towards me offering to help me up. I take it and slowly rise to my feet.

"We should get back. You will need plenty of rest for our lessons tomorrow," Sebastian says as he smiles at me.

I raise an eyebrow at him completely confused by what he just said. "What lessons? I'm technically considered dead so why do I have to continue my lessons?"

Sebastian smirks as we begin to walk back to the estate. "Oh these won't be your normal lessons. You're a demon now my lord so you have a lot to learn. I will admit you speed is incredible even for a newborn but we still need to work on your strength, you shape-shifting, and how to feed on souls."

"Shape-shifting?"

"Yes every demon has a true form. Even you."

I look at him completely suspicious about the fact that he is still smirking. "Why do I get the feeling that you are going to try to kill me doing all of this."

He glances at me and the back in front of us. "It would be almost impossible for you to die now but I will say you will be completely sore tomorrow."

My eyes widen and I gulp. I really don't like the sound of that.


	3. notice

I am so sorry to all of my beautiful readers for not posting anything for so long. I should have something posted next month since I will be moving in with friends in another state. They are allowing us to have their spare bedroom in there new home. Thank you all for worrying. I promise to make the next chapter a long one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone I am so sorry that i have been gone so long. There was so much going on that I had zero time to work on my stories. 1 I finally found a place to stay which was a huge weight off my shoulders, 2 I am currently pregnant and due July 5 along with working 40+ hours a week so updates really will depend on how tired I am, 3 I just finally got a new computer to start writing again. I plan on rewriting both of my stories but the story line will stay the same. I just feel like they could use a lot more to them. So thank you all who have followed my stories and for waiting patiently for me to get to them. I promise I will try to update as often as I can between everything going on. You guys are the best and again thanks for waiting.**


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